You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and fuck it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."
Randal Graves: Since when did "porch monkey" suddenly become a racial slur? Dante Hicks: When ignorant racists started saying it a hundred years ago. Randal Graves: Oh bullshit. My grandmother used to call me a 'porch monkey' all the time when I was a kid, because I'd sit on the porch and stare at my neighbors. Dante Hicks: Despite the fact that your grandmother might've used it as a term of endearment for you, it's still a racial slur. It'd be like your grandmother calling you a little kike. Randal Graves: No it is not. Plus my grandmother had nothing but the utmost respect for the Jewish community. When I was a kid, she'd always tell me to treat the Jewish kids well or they'd put the sheeny curse on me. Dante Hicks: WHAT THE FUCK, MAN? Randal Graves: What?