Look out! They got a piano!

[To Shrek and Fiona] Good Morning, good morning... to you, and you and youuuuu.

[sees Shrek naked] Aahh! You know, you really need to get yourself a pair of jammies!

Donkey: [after becoming Puss-in-Boots] I've been abra-cadabra'd into a Fancy Feasting, second-rate sidekick!
Shrek: Donkey...
Donkey: I feel all exposed and nasty!

It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on.

Donkey: I don't wanna die...! I don't wanna DIE! Oh sweet sister mother of mercy... I'm melting...! I'm MEEELTIIING!
Shrek: It's just the rain, Donkey.

[running ahead of giant gingerbread man] Run, run as fast as you can!

Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!

King: [Donkey sits at the table] No, no! Bad donkey! Bad, bad donkey!
Princess Fiona: It's okay, dad. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the tower.
Donkey: Yup, that's me, the noble steed. Hey waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed?

[to Puss] If we ever need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.

I say we take the sword and neuter him right here! Give him the Bob Barker treatment!

Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What the hell is a piñata, anyway?

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