Tucker: Really? Where would I have seen your work?
Pat Healy: Well, have you been to, uh well, let me see... Santiago, Chile?
Tucker: Twice last year. Which building's yours?
Pat Healy: Are you familiar with the soccer stadium?
Tucker: Did you build the Estadio Olimpico?
Pat Healy: No, just down the street the Celinto Catayente Towers. It's quite a fine example, in fact. I recommend that next time you're up that way that you drop in and take a gander at it yourself.

Ted: So you're moving down to Miami?
Pat Healy: I accepted a job offer.
Ted: With who?
Pat Healy: With... uh... Rice-a-Roni.
Ted: Isn't that the San Francisco treat?
Pat Healy: It was. They're changing their image.

Pat Healy: Really, it's only a side thing for my true passion.
Mary: And what's that?
Pat Healy: I work with retards.
Mary: Isn't that a little politically incorrect?
Pat Healy: Yeah, maybe, but hell, no one's gonna tell me who I can and can't work with.

Mary: Hey, you want to go upstairs and watch SportsCenter?
Ted: No, I think I'm just going to quit while I'm ahead.
Mary: You're not that far ahead, Ted.

Pat Healy: What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
Brett Favre: I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumbass.

[to Tucker] We agreed I wouldn't fuck you, and you wouldn't fuck me until we got this other fuck outta the fuckin' picture!

Ted: Japan? What's she doing in Japan?
Pat Healy: Well, you've heard of mail-order brides? Well, they go that way too.
Ted: What, are they desperate? She's a whale!
Pat Healy: You can't forget, it's a sumo culture, Ted. They pay by the pound over there. Sorta like, um, tuna.

Ted: I think I still want to look her up.
Pat Healy: Who, rollerpig? Are you nuts?
Ted: You said she was a real sparkplug.
Pat Healy: No, I said buttplug. She's heinous.

[Tossing drug-laced dog treats into Mary's apartment]
Pat Healy: Wait... how many is this?
Norm: Umm... four.
Pat Healy: Four? That seems like an aweful lot of speed to give one little pooch. Are you sure it won't kill him?
Norm: I never said that.
Pat Healy: ... eh.

Mary: You've been to Nepal?
Pat Healy: Not in months, I don't know why I bought the damn place.

Pat Healy: What, you think yer shit don't stink?
Ted: No, I don't think, I mean, yes it does, no I don't...

Pat Healy: Does he bite?
Sully: A little bit. Get in.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

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