Ted Quotes
I look like Snuggles' accountant.
- Permalink: I look like Snuggles' accountant.
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Ted: Hey, you're home early!
Lori: What the hell is this?
Ted: They're hookers, so it's fine.
- Permalink: Hey, you're home early! What the hell is this? They're hooke...
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Ted: I look stupid.
John: No, you don't, you look dapper!
Ted: John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell him Grandma died.
- Permalink: I look stupid. No, you don't, you look dapper! John, I look ...
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You know what I'd like to do to her? Something I call the Dirty Fozzie.
- Permalink: You know what I'd like to do to her? Something I call the Dirty ...
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Ted: Hey, thanks for 9/11.
Indian woman: I'm Indian.
Ted: Yeah, whatever.
- Permalink: Hey, thanks for 9/11. I'm Indian. Yeah, whatever.
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John: Alright: Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Serena, Melody, Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tammy, Lauren, Charlene, Chantelle, Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista, Mindy, Noel, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna, Jolene, Urleen, Claudia, Savannah, Casey, Dolly, Kendra, Kylie, Chloe, Devon, Emmalou, fucking Becky?
Ted: No.
John: Wait, was it any one of those names with a Lynn after it?
Ted: Yes.
John: Okay, Brandy Lynn, Heather Lynn...
Ted: Tammy Lynn.
John: Fuck!
- Permalink: Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Serena, Melody, Dakot...
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John: You don't think she's gonna be expecting something big, do you?
Ted: What, like anal?
- Permalink: You don't think she's gonna be expecting something big, do you? ...
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I swear to God, her name is Sauvingon Blanc. Show her your Chevron card.
- Permalink: I swear to God, her name is Sauvingon Blanc. Show her your Chevr...
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That's my bad, I was sending a tweet.
- Permalink: That's my bad, I was sending a tweet.
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