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Uncle Rico: Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.
Kip: Are you serious?
Uncle Rico: I'm dead serious.
- Permalink: Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mil...
Uncle Rico: I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up!
Uncle Rico: I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now. While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin' 120 bucks.
Napoleon Dynamite: I could make that much money in five seconds!
Kip: Geez. Yeah right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today.
Uncle Rico: Napoleon, it's looks like you don't have a job. So why don't you get out there and feed Tina.
Napoleon Dynamite: Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap!
- Permalink: I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon. I wish yo...
Uncle Rico: We also need some way to make us look official, like we got all the answers.
Kip: How bout some gold bracelets?
Uncle Rico: We need like some name tags with our picture on it, all laminated and what not. I mean, we gotta look legit man.
Kip: That's true, that's true.
- Permalink: We also need some way to make us look official, like we got all...
Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack. What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it.
- Permalink: Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack. What, do you t...
Kip: So, how long are we takin' about workin'?
Uncle Rico: What? Are you? you're already losing your steam?
Kip: No. I just? I have a chat room meeting at 4:00. I gotta be back here by then.
Uncle Rico: All right, you just start a little earlier. That's all.
Kip: All right.
Uncle Rico: Or else work afterwards. How long's the chat room?
Kip: Geez, sometimes up to three, four hours maybe... maybe not. I don't know.
Uncle Rico: You... you? you pay the bills for that? Does that cost money every time you're on, like, for minutes on the phone?
Kip: Yeah. Grandma's still payin' per minute. She gets kinda pissed at me sometimes 'cause I'm on there so long.
Uncle Rico: I'll bet she does. I'll tell you something, I'd be throwin' you out the window.
- Permalink: So, how long are we takin' about workin'? What? Are you? you'...
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
- Permalink: How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them ...
Uncle Rico: So what do you think?
Kip: It's pretty cool, I guess.
Uncle Rico: Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state.
Napoleon Dynamite: This is pretty much the worst video ever made.
Kip: Napoleon, like anyone can even know that.
Uncle Rico: You know what, Napoleon? You can leave.
Napoleon Dynamite: You guys are retarded!
- Permalink: So what do you think? It's pretty cool, I guess. Ohhhh, man...
Napoleon Dynamite: Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home.
Uncle Rico: She didn't tell me anything.
Napoleon Dynamite: Too bad, she said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
Uncle Rico: I'm not goin' anywhere, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property!
Uncle Rico: It's a free country. I can do whatever I want.
Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you.
Uncle Rico: Well then do it! Go on!
Napoleon Dynamite: Maybe I will, GOSH!
- Permalink: Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home. She ...