Alan Garner: [after learning the hotel room they had reserved only had 2 beds] Two beds is enough, we can share for a night. I'll bunk with Phil. That cool with you?
Phil Wenneck: No.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: "Stu Come on, Get up. We got a situation"
Stu: "Where are we"
Phil: "You're gonna freak out, but its gonna be ok."
[Stu checks mirror and screams]
"This is a real tattoo!"
Stu: "Alan what did you do? Did you roofie me?
Alan: I didn't do anything

• Permalink: Stu Come on, Get up. We got a situation Where are we You're...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

[last lines]
Doug Billings: We look at these pictures together, ok? One time. And then we delete the evidence.
Stu Price: I say we delete it right now.
Phil Wenneck: Are you nut? I want to find out how I went to the hospital. Is that in there?
Alan Garner: Yeah it's in there!
Doug Billings: Guys, one time. Deal?
Phil Wenneck: Deal!
Stu Price: Deal.
Alan Garner: Ok.
Stu Price: [the four of them look into the camera] Oh dear Lord!
Alan Garner: That's classic!

• Permalink: We look at these pictures together, ok? One time. And then we de...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

"I have a demon in me."

Stu

• Permalink: I have a demon in me.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stu Price: So, uh, are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby?
Alan Garner: What are you talking about? I've found a baby before.
Stu Price: You found a baby before? Where?
Alan Garner: Coffee Bean.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

"When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language."

Alan

• Permalink: When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sid Garner: Don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him.
Doug Billings: Understood.
Sid Garner: Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil Wenneck: [his answering machine message] Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don't, but do me a favor: don't text me, it's gay.

• Permalink: Don't text me, it's gay.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.

• Permalink: I'm part of some weird wolf pack. Hey, it's not weird. It's re...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0