Sid Garner: Don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him.
Doug Billings: Understood.
Sid Garner: Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.

Phil: "It happened again."
Tracy: "Seriously, what is wrong with you three?"

I wish monkeys could skype.


"I have a demon in me."


Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.

Alan Garner: Hey Phil, look!
[laughs hysterically while miming the baby masturbating]
Alan Garner: He's jackin' his little weenus!
Phil Wenneck: Pull yourself together, bro!
Alan Garner: Not at the table, Carlos!

Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.

Alan Garner

Melissa: I just wish your friends were as mature as you.
Stu Price: They are mature, actually. You just have to get to know them better.
Phil Wenneck: [yelling from outside] Paging Dr. Faggot. Dr. Faggot!
Stu Price: I should go.
Melissa: That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot.

Phil: You're not my friend!
Alan: Don't say that Phil, are you serious? Even in America!?
Stu: You're the bearded devil!

I was gonna have you sing 'Burn it Up' by the Jonas Brothers, but then I remembered you don't like Indie music.


Phil: "Stu Come on, Get up. We got a situation"
Stu: "Where are we"
Phil: "You're gonna freak out, but its gonna be ok."
[Stu checks mirror and screams]
"This is a real tattoo!"
Stu: "Alan what did you do? Did you roofie me?
Alan: I didn't do anything

Doc, none of us could remember anything from last night. Remember?

Alan Garner

You Might also Like

Like Movies?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest movie news delivered to your inbox for free!