Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.

Does that make you HORNY, baby?

Therapist: We have some new-comers here today. Please say hello to Scott and his father Mr... Ev-ille?
Dr. Evil: Evil, Actually, Dr. Evil.
The Group: Hello, Scott. Hello, Dr. Evil.
Scott Evil: Hi, everybody.

Commander Gilmour: Oh my God, he's back.
Johnson Ritter: In many ways, Bob's Big Boy never left, sir. He's always offered the same high quality meals at competitive prices.

Oooh, Behave!

Dr. Evil: Okay, here's the plan. We get the warhead and then hold the world ransom for... 1 MILLION dollars!
Number Two: Sir, strictly speaking, a million dollars will not go very far these days. Virtucon alone makes over 9 billion dollars a year.
Dr. Evil: Really? Okay then... we hold the world ransom for one... hundred... BILLION dollars!!!

Austin Powers: Dr. Evil, do you really expect them to pay?
Dr. Evil: No, Mr. Powers. I expect them to die.

Dr. Evil: Son, wouldn't you like to see what daddy does for a living?
Scott Evil: Blow me.
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott Evil: Show me.

Austin Powers: [holding Scott hostage] It seems the tables have turned again, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: Not really. Kill the little bastard, see if I care.
Scott Evil: But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group.
Dr. Evil: I had the group LIQUIDATED, you little shit! They were insolent!

Alotta Fagina: How dare you break wind before me.
Austin Powers: I'm sorry I didn't realize it was your turn.

I hereby demand the sum... OF ONE ... MILLION ... DOLLARS!

Dr. Evil

Austin Powers: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Basil Exposition: The shouting is a temporary side-effect of the unfreezing.
Austin Powers: Yes... I'm having difficulty controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 61 in total

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Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery Quotes

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking... I highly suggest you try it.

Dr. Evil

Quartermaster Clerk: One Swedish-made penis enlarger.
Austin Powers: [to Vanessa] That's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
Quartermaster Clerk: One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers.

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