Can't Hardly Wait Quotes

Stoner Guy: You know who else I like that didn't get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Exchange student: Would you like to touch my penis? I am a sex machine!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kenny Fisher: I mean peep this - They say here 92 percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. 92 percent of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, "Class... or sex? What shall I do?" 92 percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means?
Ritchie Koolboy: What?
Kenny Fisher: It means I gots a 92 percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa" cuz I don't yo.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Amanda Beckett: Hi, umm... Do you happen to know who Preston Myers is?
Earth Girl: D'uh. He only sat like, right next to you in freshman English. But I guess you wouldn't remember that. I mean, why would Amanda Beckett pay any attention to a unique spirit like Preston, or even a unique spirit like me? Maybe it's because she's a little busy ordering around her little conformist flock of sheep. SHEEP! You are all sheep! Baaaaah!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

William: [wasted] I can't feel my legs, I HAVE NO LEGS!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

William: Nobody drink the beer, the beer has gone bad!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ritchie Koolboy: Aw damn, man. Our boy's a fag, yo.
DJ Sammy: Yo, who's a fag?
Kenny Fisher: Yo, both of y'all. That is a "Fragrance of Love" scented candle, bitch. Damn!
 • Rating: Unrated

Denise: Besides, I heard that song was about his dog.
Preston: It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?
Denise: My cousin had a dog name Samantha.
Preston: Shut up about the dog, okay?
 • Rating: Unrated

Denise: There's a mirror right there. Take a look, you're white.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mike Dexter: I'll kick everyone's ass in this room!
 • Rating: Unrated