Check out these Knocked Up quotes and see how the Seth Rogen-Kathrine Heigl comedy charmed so many.

Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.

Jill

Jack: We decided that, we want you to be on camera.
Alison Scott: Oh my god, really?
Jill: I know, I was so surprised too.

Oops. That's not your vagina. That's your asshole.

Female Doctor

Martin: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew.
Ben Stone: So are we. You weren't chosen for a reason.

Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong.
Ben Stone: It's okay... I didn't.

Thanks for the free money, Bitch.

Jay

If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."

Ben Stone

Alison Scott: Hey...
Ben Stone: I'm naked.
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: Did we have sex?
Alison Scott: Yes.
Ben Stone: Nice.

I live in your phone!

Ben Stone

[to bartender] You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderrama.

Ben Stone

Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.

Ben Stone

Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous.

Jonah
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 39 in total
Knocked Up is from Judd Apatow and truly showed that the man has the comedic midas touch. It stars Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl.

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Knocked Up Quotes

Ben Stone: Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
Alison Scott: And a little bit Spanish?
Ben Stone: Yeah, I'm not very good with impressions.

Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: With a baby?

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