Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.

Jill

• Permalink: Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illeg...
• Added: May 25, 2012

Jack: We decided that, we want you to be on camera.
Alison Scott: Oh my god, really?
Jill: I know, I was so surprised too.

• Permalink: We decided that, we want you to be on camera. Oh my god, reall...
• Added: May 25, 2012

Oops. That's not your vagina. That's your asshole.

Female Doctor

• Permalink: Oops. That's not your vagina. That's your asshole.
• Added: June 07, 2007

Martin: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew.
Ben Stone: So are we. You weren't chosen for a reason.

• Permalink: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew. So are we. You weren't chos...
• Added: June 07, 2007

Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong.
Ben Stone: It's okay... I didn't.

• Permalink: I'm sorry I told you to f**k your bong. It's okay... I didn't...
• Added: June 07, 2007

Thanks for the free money, Bitch.

Jay

• Permalink: Thanks for the free money, Bitch.
• Added: June 07, 2007

If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."

Ben Stone

• Permalink: If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in Mun...
• Added: June 07, 2007

Alison Scott: Hey...
Ben Stone: I'm naked.
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: Did we have sex?
Alison Scott: Yes.
Ben Stone: Nice.

• Permalink: Hey... I'm naked. Yeah. Did we have sex? Yes. Nice.
• Added: June 07, 2007

I live in your phone!

Ben Stone

• Permalink: I live in your phone!
• Added: June 07, 2007