Tools.

Tom Witzky
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Maggie Witzky: LISA?
Lisa: You impregnated my sister again.
Maggie Witzky: BITCH!
Lisa: I thought you wanted me to tell him.
Maggie Witzky: Why, because I said don't?

Lisa: Animal.
Tom Witzky: What'd I do this time?
Lisa: Should I tell him?
Maggie Witzky: If you wanna die!
Lisa: Well, your beer-addled sperm still works.

WHY ARE YOU DIGGING?

Maggie Witzky

Don't be afraid of it, Daddy.

Jake Witzky

I'm supposed to dig.

Tom

Maggie Witzky: She's a witch. She took one look at me and guessed. Well, say something.
Tom Witzky: Bummer.
Maggie Witzky: Something else.

Lisa: So, she's six weeks pregnant. That means the baby's due in... April, May... June. Gemini. That's cool. Einstein was a Gemini. So's that Scottish gal from Garbage.
Tom Witzky: Will you go help Jake with his pajamas?
Lisa: If she's late...
Tom Witzky: Lisa, I swear to God, start with the Dionne Warwick stuff and I'll throw you out of the fuckin' window, so please help him with the pajamas.
Lisa: Love you, too, Tom.

Does it hurt to be dead?

Jake Witzky

[to her husband after he stares at a group of girls] Why don't you just lick 'em when they walk by?

Sheila

Look what I'm not cleaning up.

Maggie Witzky

It doesn't surprise me that there's another woman. Of course, the fact that she's dead gives one pause.

Lisa
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

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Maggie Witzky: What?
Tom Witzky: I don't know, ordinary.

They were going to kill you in cold blood. I couldn't let that happen. Not here. This is a decent neighborhood!

Frank McCarthy