Penny Escher: And I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes?
Karen Eiffel: No, they came pre-smoked.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: What is your favorite word?
Harold Crick: Integer.

Karen Eiffel: Harold quickly calculated the odds of making an ass of himself, in ratio to the amount of time he stayed to chat.
Harold Crick: This is my stop I should go.
Karen Eiffel: He was elated and surprised by his somewhat flirtatious encounter with Mrs. Pascal. So elated that he exited the transit authority bus a good 27 blocks too early and would now have to walk.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Because he's real?
Kay Eiffel: Because it's a book about a man who doesn't know he's about to die. And then dies. But if a man does know he's about to die and dies anyway. Dies- dies willingly, knowing that he could stop it, then- I mean, isn't that the type of man who you want to keep alive?

Ana Pascal: [to cast-covered Harold] So what happened?
Harold Crick: I stepped in front of a bus.
Ana Pascal: What? Why?
Harold Crick: There was a boy I had to pull out of the way?
Ana Pascal: What?
Harold Crick: There was this boy, I had to...
Ana Pascal: You stepped in front of a bus to save a boy?
Harold Crick: I had to. I didn't have a choice.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?
Harold Crick: I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well, that sounds like a comedy. Try to develop that.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Aren't you relieved to know that you're not a golem?
Harold Crick: Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a golem.

Karen Eiffel: I went out... to buy cigarettes and I figured out how to kill Harold Crick.
Penny Escher: Buying cigarettes?
Karen Eiffel: As I was... when I came out of the store I... it came to me.
Penny Escher: How?
Karen Eiffel: Well, Penny, like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.
Harold Crick: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don't want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes.

[narrating] Why was Harold talking to this man? This man... was an idiot; this man used words like "wibbly-wobbly" and "convo", and explained that trees were trees. Of course trees were trees; Harold knew that trees were trees.

Karen Eiffel

This might not mean anything to you, but I think I'm in a tragedy.

Harold Crick

Let's start with ridiculous and work backwards.

Dr. Jules Hilbert
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 31 in total

You Might also Like

Want more good stuff like this?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest movie news delivered to your inbox for free!

Stranger Than Fiction Quotes

Little did he know. That means there's something he doesn't know, which means there's something you don't know, did you know that?

Dr. Jules Hilbert

[talking to Ana while holding a cardboard box with multiple small paper bags inside] I brought you flours.

Harold Crick
x Close Ad