98% of people will die sometime in their lives.

Ricky Bobby

Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft to get the fire off me! Help me, Oprah Winfrey!

Ricky Bobby

If you ain't first, you're last.

Ricky Bobby

Cal Naughton, Jr.: I had a dream where Jesus was a dirty old bum, and I was about to sock him in the face because, well he's a dirty old bum, but then I thought, theres something special about him...
Ricky Bobby: Because it was Jesus right...
Cal Naughton, Jr.: yeah..

Are we gonna get it on now?

Ricky Bobby

I wanna thank little baby Jesus, who's sittin' in his crib watchin the Baby Einstein videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors.

Ricky Bobby

Ricky Bobby: From now on, it's Magic Man and El Diablo.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: What does El Diablo mean?
Ricky Bobby: It's like Spanish for like a fighting chicken.

I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

Ricky Bobby

Jean Girard: You taste like America.
Ricky Bobby: Thank you.

Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?

Displaying quotes 13 - 23 of 23 in total

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Talladega Nights Quotes

I like to think of Jesus as wearin' a Tuxedo T-Shirt, that says, like, "I want to be formal, but I like to party too." I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party too.

Cal Naughton Jr

Ricky Bobby: From now on, it's Magic Man and El Diablo.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: What does El Diablo mean?
Ricky Bobby: It's like Spanish for like a fighting chicken.

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