Heather Holloway: Heather Holloway.
Nick Naylor: Nick Naylor. Big Tobacco.
Heather Holloway: [holds up tape recorder] Is this kosher?
Nick Naylor: Only if I can call you Heather.
Heather Holloway: By all means. So, Mr. Naylor ...
Nick Naylor: [interrupting] Nick.
Heather Holloway: Nick. Let's start with ...
Nick Naylor: '82 Margaux.
Heather Holloway: Okay. Is it good?
Nick Naylor: "Good"? It'll make you believe in God.

I have a bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Nick Naylor

Don't forget, I'm his father. You're just the guy who fucks his mom.

Nick Naylor

Jack: I'm going to impale your mom on a spike and feed her dead body to my dog with syphilis.
Brad: Ha, you got me!

You know the guy who can pick up any girl? I'm him. On crack.

Nick Naylor

Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?
Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

That's the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong.

Nick Naylor

My job requires a certain... moral flexibility.

Nick Naylor

Kid #3: My Mommy says smoking kills.
Nick Naylor: Oh, is your Mommy a doctor?
Kid #3: No.
Nick Naylor: A scientific researcher of some kind?
Kid #3: No.
Nick Naylor: Well then she's hardly a credible expert, is she?

Please don't ruin my childhood

Joey Naylor

Jeff Megall: [Talking to Nick on the phone, late at night] Gotta go. London. It's 7 AM in the Old Empire.
Nick Naylor: When do you sleep?
Jeff Megall: [pause] Sunday.

Nick Naylor: Now what we need is a smoking role model. A real winner.
Jeff Megall: Indiana Jones meets Jerry Maguire.
Nick Naylor: Right, on two packs a day.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 18 in total

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Thank You for Smoking Quotes

Jeff Megall: Sony has a futuristic sci-fi movie they're looking to make.
Nick Naylor: Cigarettes in space?
Jeff Megall: It's the final frontier, Nick.
Nick Naylor: But wouldn't they blow up in an all oxygen environment?
Jeff Megall: Probably. But it's an easy fix. One line of dialogue. 'Thank God we invented the... you know, whatever device.'

The message Hollywood needs to send out is 'Smoking Is Cool!'

Nick Naylor
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