The Big Lebowski Quotes
I fucks you in the ass, I fucks you in the ass, I fucks you, I fucks you, I fucks you, I fucks...Nihilist
- Permalink: I f**ks you in the ass, I f**ks you in the ass, I f**ks you, I ...
The Dude: Also, my rug was stolen.
Cop: The rug was in the car?
The Dude: No. It was here.
Cop: [eager] Oh, separate incidents.
Maude Lebowski: [on answering machine] Jeffrey, this is Maude Lebowski. I need to see you. I'm the one who took your rug.
Cop: Well. I guess we can close the books on that one.
- Permalink: Also, my rug was stolen. The rug was in the car? No. It was...
[shouting, smashing car with golf club] This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!Walter Sobchak
- Permalink: This is what happens when you f**k a stranger in the ass!
Walter Sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death...
The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talkin' about?
The Dude: Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic...
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Walter Sobchak: And you know this!
The Dude: Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?
The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.
Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax. You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past!
- Permalink: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the mon...
Walter Sobchak: I told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!
Donny: What's Shabbos?
Walter Sobchak: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit
Walter Sobchak: don't fucking roll! Shomer shabbos!
The Dude: Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Shomer fucking shabbos.
The Dude: Oh fuck it.
- Permalink: I told those f**ks down at the league office a thousand times t...
Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...
- Permalink: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways...
God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?The Dude
- Permalink: God damn you Walter! You f**kin' asshole! Everything's a f**kin...
The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?
- Permalink: F**k sympathy! I don't need your f**kin' sympathy, man, I need ...
That's a great plan, Walter. That's fuckin' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss fuckin' watch.The Dude
- Permalink: That's a great plan, Walter. That's f**kin' ingenious, if I und...