What the fuck is this shit?

Kelly

Matt: But then Samnang won't get his money!
Kelly: It's funny, you say that like I care. I don't give a shit!

Okay, people, let's make some fuckie fuckie.

Kelly

Matthew: Why didn't you just tell me?
Danielle: Because I didn't want to! Because I loved the way you looked at me. You don't understand how hard...
Matthew: Wait!
Danielle: Fuck you.

Matthew: Why are you doing this?
Danielle: What?
Matthew: This.
Danielle: Isn't that what you want? To fuck a porn star in a cheap motel? So this is what you really think of me.

Karate Guy in Porno: Oooh, excellent, grasshopper. And now for your final task of your training.
Danielle: You're gonna need a harder piece of wood that that, cowboy.
Matthew: That's not her.
Eli: Yeah, it is.
Matthew: Oh, no.

Samnang: He fucked me, Mum. He fuck me real bad.
Samnang's Mother: That son of a bitch!

Well, I don't speak a foreign language, so that's out. And I can't quote John F. Kennedy now, can I, Ryan?

Matthew

That fuckin' bitch just can't run away because she don't want to screw on film anymore!

Kelly

Hugo Posh: Kelly! What do we say?
Kelly: Fuck you.
Hugo Posh: Always with the big words.

[realizing Matt has accidentally taken E] Oh, my God, this is gonna be amazing!

Eli

Matthew: I just feel so weird...
Danielle: Shh. Relax. Ecstasy is not that bad.
Matthew: What?
Danielle: Kelly likes dosing people with E.
Matthew: Oh, my God. Am I gonna die?

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The Girl Next Door Quotes

Matthew: It's not funny.
Danielle: It's a little funny.

I could make a better sex-ed film with my mom!

Eli