Are you a Movie Fanatic?
Sign up for our daily newsletter to receive personalized movie news for free!
Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount.Harry Burns
- Permalink: Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judge...
You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you.Sally Albright
- Permalink: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that...
Jess: "Baby talk." That's not a saying.
Harry Burns: Oh, but "baby fish mouth" is sweeping the nation? I hear them talking.
- Permalink: Baby talk. That's not a saying. Oh, but baby fish mouth is ...
Sally Albright: Is Harry bringing anybody to the wedding?
Marie: I don't think so.
Sally Albright: Is he seeing anybody?
Marie: He was seeing this anthropologist, but...
Sally Albright: What's she look like?
Marie: Thin. Pretty. Big tits. Your basic nightmare.
- Permalink: Is Harry bringing anybody to the wedding? I don't think so. ...
Harry Burns: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won't know whose is whose. 'Cause someday, believe it or not, you'll go 15 rounds over who's gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE.
Jess: I thought you liked it?
Harry Burns: I was being nice.
- Permalink: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your...
Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That's Mine, This Is Yours.Harry Burns
- Permalink: Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is i...
Sally Albright: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and I had these days of the week underpants.
Harry Burns: Ehhhh. I'm sorry. I need the judges ruling on this. "Days of the weeks underpants"?
Sally Albright: Yes. They had the days of the week on them, and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me, "You never wear Sunday." It was all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn't believe me.
Harry Burns: What?
Sally Albright: They don't make Sunday.
Harry Burns: Why not?
Sally Albright: Because of God.
- Permalink: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and...
Jess: Emily is terrific.
Harry Burns: Yeah. But of course when I asked where she was when Kennedy was shot she said, "Ted Kennedy was shot?"
- Permalink: Emily is terrific. Yeah. But of course when I asked where she...
Sally Albright: The first date back is always the toughest, Harry.
Harry Burns: You only had one date. How do you know it's not going to get worse?
Sally Albright: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair out of my head and start flossing with it at the table?
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror.
- Permalink: The first date back is always the toughest, Harry. You only h...
It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.Harry Burns
- Permalink: It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to tal...
Harry Burns: ...Are you finished now?
Sally Albright: ...Yes.
Harry Burns: Can I say something?
Sally Albright: Yes.
Harry Burns: ...I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Permalink: ...Are you finished now? ...Yes. Can I say something? Yes...
Sally Albright: I see people.
Harry Burns: See people? Have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe?
Sally Albright: What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove I'm over Joe? Because I fuck somebody? Harry, you're gonna have to move back to New Jersey because you've slept with everybody in New York and I don't see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you. Besides, I will make love to somebody when it is making love. Not the way you do it like you're out for revenge or something.
- Permalink: I see people. See people? Have you slept with one person sinc...