Jessica Biel Looks Hot and Sleuthy in New A-Team

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Let's take a second and talk about this new A-Team movie.

I grew up with the A-Team. Their images were emblazoned on my lunchbox when I was a kid. I used to steal my dad's tan Members Only jacket and fancy cigars to pretend I was Hannibal Smith.  I have a B.A. Baracus sound board app on my iPhone. They're like family to me.

So, when I heard the kitschy 80's TV show was being remade into a glossy, glitzy, major motion picture, I immediately groaned in disapproval.

But then I heard Joe Carnahan was making it, and I said, "A-Team meets Smokin' Aces? Best movie ever!" Haha, no, I didn't really say that, but I trust Joe Carnahan to give us a slick, sexy, stylish, and yes, gritty interpretation of my favorite Stephen J. Cannell creation.

The cast list alone tells us that Carnahan's modern update will definitely honor the memory of the 80's favorite, with Bradley Cooper as Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck, Liam Neeson as John "Hannibal" Smith, District 9's Sharlto Copley as Capt. "Howling Mad" Murdock, and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson as Sgt. "B.A." Baracus.

All seem to be perfect picks when you look at the original characters, especially Bradley Cooper standing in for Dirk Benedict, but Liam Neeson replacing George Peppard suggests the film will have an edge, which is exactly what we're expecting from Carnahan.

Jessica Biel is reportedly playing an Army general who is an ex-love of Bradley Cooper's Faceman, and is now in hot pursuit of the team.

Okay, hold the phone... Jessica Biel as an Army general? Really? That's about as believable as Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist. Tell me Jessica is a hot undercover CIA agent and I'll swallow that hook, line and sinker, but Army general? I don't know, Joe. Please don't insult us by making another run-of-the-mill Hollywood remake. Treat our A-Team right.

Anyway, here are some pics that our friends at dug up of Miss Biel in a stealthy leather trench coat:

Jessica Biel A-Team first look 1
Jessica Biel A-Team first look 2

Jessica is clearly as hot as ever, but what's the deal with the trench coat? Is she trying to be incognito? If so, her overwhelming hotness and sexy exposed legs are making sure any covertness is completely ruined. Hell, even the coat looks sexy!

Mr. Carnahan, please don't muck this one up. I'll give you a free pass today, but it's just because your Army general makes me horny. I guess we'll have to wait until June of 2010 for a final verdict on the film. Until then, pity the fool!

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The A-Team Quotes

I love it when a plan comes together.

Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith

[being fired upon by a Predator drone]
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: What the Hell was that?
Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: If you look out the right hand side of the aircraft you will notice that the right wing is on fire.

The A-Team Review

Here's the thing, Hollywood action movies have become parodies of themselves. This has been apparent to me since at least the late 90's...

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Rating: 4.9 / 5.0 (12 Votes)