How the hell did this happen?
Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl both take a career sucker punch with Killers, which, despite the obvious cribbing of plot from Mr. and Mrs. Smith or True Lies, looked like it could have been a fun romantic comedy. Sorry to say it looks like we have another Bounty Hunter on our hands...
Heigl plays Jen, a recently dumped young thing who travels to the French Riviera with her parents (played by Tom Selleck and Catherine O'Hara) only to bump into the hunky Spencer, who woos her with his charm and shirtlessness. 3 years later, they're married and living in suburbia, and everything seems rather normal, until Jen comes home one day to find Spencer in a death match with what looks to be another normal suburbanite.
Turns out, Spencer is a professional killer, and is now being targeted for assassination himself. So it's up to Jen to help her hubby weather the onslaught of killers out to get him, despite the ridiculousness of the situation, never mind the fact that he lied to her for three years. A series of harrowing experiences bonds the pair in a new and different way and yada yada yada.
Lionsgate sure shelled out the green for this one, with its lavish locations and plethora of fireworks, and I'm sure Kutcher and Heigl cost a pretty penny too. It's just a shame that it ends up being so dull and lifeless. When the funniest moments in the film surround Catherine O'Hara's drinking problem, you know you're in for a disappointing two hours. Even the comedic skills of an actor like O'Hara couldn't save that ship from sinking. Heigl and Kutcher plow through a script about as amusing as the yellow pages, and it's clear early on that they're pretty much there to look good, which they do, but it's not enough.
I'll let you in on a little secret: the best part of the movie is in the trailer, and it's not any line of dialogue, any action set piece, or flash of skin from the gorgeous leads, but the song Psycho Killer by the Talking Heads. When it comes down to it, Killers is about as fun and interesting as your typical Los Angeles barbie doll; it may look good, but it's ultimately a humorless, plastic bore.