Airplane Quotes: Don't Call Me Shirley

by at . Comments
There are few movies in Hollywood history that gave more to the rise of the institution that is movie quotes as Airplane! did in 1980 with its premiere. The Zucker brothers and Jim Abrahams crafted a modern classic with Airplane! From the film’s opening moments of the parking restriction announcers fighting to the horny automatic pilot… the film is one of the funniest of all time, hands down.
Airplane Poster
Here is just a sampling of the dozens of hilarious moments of Airplane quotes.

Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now. | permalink

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking. | permalink

Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times. | permalink

Elaine Dickinson: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? | permalink

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking. | permalink

Rumack: Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?
Elaine Dickinson: No. | permalink

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked? | permalink

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. | permalink

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley. | permalink

Steve McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make out of this?
[Hands him the weather briefing]
Johnny: This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl... | permalink

Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison? | permalink

Elaine Dickinson: Would you like something to read?
Hanging Lady: Do you have anything light?
Elaine Dickinson: How about this leaflet, "Famous Jewish Sports Legends?" | permalink

Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!
Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
Jive Lady: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.
Randy: Oh, good.
Jive Lady: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?
Jive Lady: [to the Second Jive Dude] Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da' rebound on da' med side.
Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!
Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!
First Jive Dude: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!
Jive Lady: Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Shiiiiit. | permalink

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines. | permalink

FREE Movie Newsletter

Tags: , ,

Airplane! Quotes

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

Steve McCroskey

Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

Captain Oveur