It's so genius, I'm mad I haven't made some sarcastic comment about how "Next, they'll make a grown-up ass-kicking version of Hansel and Gretel."

Well, they have.  It's called Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, and here's the first trailer:

The film stars Jeremy Renner, fresh off his roles as Hawkeye in The Avengers and Aaron Cross in The Bourne Legacy, as the adult version of the classic Brothers Grimm character Hansel, with Gemma Arterton as his sister Gretel. 15 years after their fateful encounter with a witch in the woods, the siblings have become professional witch hunters.

Thomas Mann (Project X), Famke Janssen, and Peter Stormare also star, with Tommy Wirkola. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters hits theaters January 11, 2013.