Hedy Lamarr, we mean Hedley Lamarr, is the Attorney General and the bad guy in Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles.Â Lamarr crafts a plan that involves scaring off the citizens of Rock Ridge so he can snatch their land and make a nice profit when the railroad runs its way through where their land used to be.
Taggart: What do you want me to do, sir?
Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down.
[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]
Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.
Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?
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Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Hedley Lamarr: "Ditto?" "Ditto," you provincial putz?
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Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
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Taggart: Break's over, boys. Don't just lay there gettin' a suntan, ain't gonna do you no good anyhow. Now take this shovel and put it to some good use.
[Bart grabs a shovel and advances on Taggart from behind]
Charlie: Don't do it, Bart.
Bart: Uh-uh, baby, I have to.
Taggart: [to Lyle] Now send a wire to the main office and tell them that I said
[Bart whacks him]
Lyle: Send wire, main office, tell them I said ow, gotcha.
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