Maury Ballstein

Maury Ballstein Picture

Maury Ballstein is Derek Zoolander's agent and unfortunatley part of the conspiracy to make Derek assassinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia.  Great role by Ben Stiller's own father.

Played By
Jerry Stiller
Full Name
Maury Ballstein

Maury Ballstein Quotes

Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.

Maury Ballstein

Mugatu: SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!
[flings "M" shaped shuriken at the Prime Minister]
Mugatu: Die, you wage-hiking scum!

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Zoolander Quotes

Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.

Maury Ballstein

At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really good looking.

Derek Zoolander