Alan Garner: Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a foolproof system. Stu Price: It's also illegal. Alan Garner: It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane. Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too. Alan Garner: Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.
Phil Wenneck: [while driving a squad car on the sidewalk and using the loudspeaker] Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an incredible rack. Phil Wenneck: [to himself] I should have been a fucking cop.