Tom: What's he doin? Droz: He's finishing his senior thesis. Pigman is trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory. No matter what time it is, 24 hours a day, you can find a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie playing on TV. Tom: That's his thesis? Droz: Yes! That's the beauty of college these days, Tommy! You can major in Game Boy if you know how to bullshit.
Droz: Want some advice? Tom: Well, yeah. Droz: Well, here's all you need to know. Classes: nothing before 11. Beer: it's your best friend, you drink a lot. Women? You're a freshman, so it's pretty much out of the question. Will you have a car? Tom: Uh, no. Droz: Someone on your floor will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day.