Sheba Hart: What you say about me, about Richard - you're not fit to shine his shoes. And Ben, and P-Polly, that I'd be happier without them. Why did you do it? [slaps Barbara] Sheba Hart: Because I didn't help you collect your cat? [slaps Barbara again] Sheba Hart: You've cost me my family! Barbara Covett: No, no, take some responsibility! I gave you EXACTLY what you wanted! You'd still be stuck in that marriage without me. Sheba Hart: What? Barbara Covett: You can't accept it yet, but ... Sheba Hart: You think I wanted to be here with you? Barbara Covett: You need me, I'm your friend! Sheba Hart: You put me in prison, I could get TWO years! Barbara Covett: They'll fly by! I'll visit you every week! We've so much life to live together! Sheba Hart: You think this is a love affair? A relationship? What, sticky gold stars, and - and a strand of my hair? A sticker from Pizza Express? It's a flat in the Archway Road and you think you're Virgina frigging Woolf! And where did you get a strand of my hair, did you pluck it from the bath with some special fucking tweezers? Barbara Covett: You know it's rude to read a person's diary, it's private! Sheba Hart: No, we're not companions! We're not friends! You don't even like me! Barbara Covett: That's not true, I only have tender feelings for you, only love! Sheba Hart: You've gone fucking mad. You don't know how to love. You have never, your whole life. Me, Jennifer Dodd. You're nothing but waste and disappointment! You bitter old virgin. They loathed you at school, all of them. I was the idiot who bothered, but only because no one told me you're a fucking vampire! So what is it, Bar? You want to roll around the floor like lovers? You want to fuck me, Barbara? Barbara Covett: Please don't diminish our ... Sheba Hart: Our WHAT?