You're running around like a Puerto Rican on the fifteenth of the month!


Elle: Is that low-viscosity rayon? With a half-loop top stitching on the hem?
Boutique Saleswoman: Of course. It's one of a kind.
Elle: It's impossible to use a half-loop stitching on low-viscosity rayon. It would snag the fabric. And you didn't just get it in - I saw it in the June Vogue a year ago. So if you're trying to sell it to me for full price, you've picked the wrong girl.

Vivian: Nice outfit.
Elle: Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.

Jake Green

Oh: I'm a virgin by choice.
Zed: Ha. Not your choice!

Mike Enslin: Why don't you just kill me?
Room 1408: Because everyone of our guests has free will, Mr. Enslin.

ESPN Announcer: So Roy, where have you been for the last fifteen years?
Roy: Well, I uh, well, ya see, I uh... Drinking. Lot a drinking.
ESPN Announcer: I see. Well, are you still drinking?
Roy: No. I uh... I put... uh... Why, you buying?

Nika Boronina: What colour underwear am I wearing?
Agent 47: You're not wearing any underwear.

Coach: What do you guys have that all other teams don't have?
Chazz: Twin dongs?

Dale Denton: Yeah but if you do bad stuff you're going to come back as something bad like a slug or an anal bead. But if you do something heroic then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or Jude Law. Now which would you rather be?
Red: The anal bead wouldn't be bad. I mean I guess it would depend on whose anal bead it was.
Dale Denton: It's *my* anal bead.

We're in this together.

Hermione Granger

Albus Dumbledore: You must be wondering why I brought you here.
Harry Potter: Actually sir, after all these years I just sort of go with it.

FREE Movie Newsletter