Professor Henry Jones: Well, he who finds the Grail must face the final challenge.
Indiana Jones: What final challenge?
Professor Henry Jones: Three devices of such lethal cunning.
Indiana Jones: Booby traps?
Professor Henry Jones: Oh yes. But I found the clues that will safely take us through, in the Chronicles of St. Anselm.
Indiana Jones: But what are they? Can't you remember?
Professor Henry Jones: I wrote them down in my Diary so that I wouldn't have to remember.

Jacob: [to Lou] I have some Ativan but it's different.
Lou: Well, let's stick it up our asses!
Jacob: It's not a suppository!
Lou: It doesn't matter. You crush it up, put it in a paper towel, run it under some warm water, and you stick it right up your ass. That works!

Pitka: I would like to thank the academy. Wow, these things are heavy... yeah.
Coach Cherkov: Put me down, Jackass!

C'MON, YOU BITCH!

Captain Billy Tyne

To Al's Toy Barn... and beyond.

Buzz Lightyear

You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now, Carmine.

Marion Wormer

Martine Love: I know you, Terry. And I know your mates. You've always been looking for the big score. The one that makes sense of everything. I have it for you.
Terry Leather: What?
Martine Love: A bank.
Terry Leather: A bank, as in rob? How would you know about a bank?
Martine Love: I've been seeing this guy, runs his own business - security systems. Next month they're installing new alarms in a bank in Marylebone. Seems like the trains have been setting off the tremble alarms in the vault, and so they've had to turn them off. So for a week or so, they won't have any.
Terry Leather: Now why would he tell you all this?
Martine Love: We were having a laugh about it. Imagine if half the villains in London knew about this, he said. And I thought, I know half the villains in London. I grew up with some of them.

Celebrities beat cancer all the time. Lance Armstrong, he keeps getting it.

Kyle

Is that your answer, old man? Well, I guess you're a hard case too.

Luke

This time they've crossed a fatal line.

Dwight McCarthy

Oh, lookee here, the great jerkoff case of 1953.

Jack Vincennes

There is no defeat in death, Master Bruce. Victory comes in defending what we know is right while we still live.

Alfred

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