Sally Albright: I have just as much of a dark side as the next person.
Harry Burns: Oh, really? When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.

Voldemort: Don't you turn your back on me, Harry Potter! I want to see your face when I kill you! I want to see the light leave your eyes!
Harry: [facing Voldemort] Have it your way!
Voldemort, Harry: [both shouting together] Avada Kedavara!/Expelliarmus!

Scott: [on Jerry Springer show] How could you do this to me? On national television!
Dr. Evil: Well throw me a freakin' bone here, Scott.
Scott: Why did you run out on me?
Dr. Evil: Because you're not quite evil enough. [audience boos] It's true! It's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.

They take you to a tree and hang you by your skin. Each time you scream the evil comes out of you. Sometimes, it can take three days for your evil to be spent. Pull him up.

Idi Amin

Doug Madsen: Did he just say "cracker"?
Dudley Frank: "Cracker-ass."
Doug Madsen: Oh, perfect.

Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on.

Chuck Noland

If I do not have the three of you married before michaelmas, it will not be my fault.

Mrs Jennings

[to Johnny] That bag over there are letters 10 to 1 from girls. 10 to 1, and they're obscene. Reba's been trying to answer some of them but half of them ain't even 15, and they're sending pictures of themselves in bathing suits. Pictures for you to look at while you're doing time at Folsom.

Vivian Cash

Tommy: [in front of fan] La-la-la-loo-loo... Luuuke... Luuuke! I am your fah-ther! La-la-lay-lu...
Richard Hayden: Oh, I've interrupted happy time! Now I know you want to sit there and keep being not slim, but we gotta work a little today.
Tommy: That was from Star Wars.
Richard Hayden: I know.

That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call 'em something else.

Jim Baker

What's that? Didn't hear ya. Your breath was so bad it made my ears numb!

Vanellope von Schweetz

Fuck, you've gone completely sideways, man.

Raoul Duke

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