Detective Krevoy: So you admit it?
Ted: Guilty as charged. I'm not gonna play games with you. I could give you a song and dance but what's the point? I did it and we all know it. The hitcher himself told me it's illegal. The irony.
Detective Krevoy: Well, uh, can you tell us his name?
Ted: Jeez, I didn't catch it.
Detective Stabler: So he was a stranger? It was totally random?
Ted: He was the first hitcher I saw, what can I tell you? Now cut to the chase, how much trouble am I in?
Detective Stabler: First tell us why you did it.
Ted: Why I did it? I don't know. Boredom? I thought I was doing the guy a favor.
Detective Krevoy: This wasn't your first time, was it, Ted? How many we talking?
Ted: Hitchhikers? I don't know - 50... 100 maybe - Who keeps track? Hey, I know this is the Bible Belt, but where I come from this is not that big a deal.
Detective Krevoy: You son of a bitch! You're gonna fry!

Nobody knows anybody. Not that well.

Tom Reagan

You think I'm ignorant of what you're up to because you haven't discussed this scheme with me as you ought to have done? When have I ever been so easily bamboozled? I believe you when you insist that amending the Constitution and abolishing slavery will end this war. And since you're sending my son into the war, woe to you if you fail to pass the amendment.

Mary Todd Lincoln

It doesn't take a genius to see the world has problems.

Adrian Veidt

Indy, why does the floor move?

Sallah

Jake: Look at you, in those candy-assed monkey suits.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: At least we got a change of clothes. You're wearing the same shit you had on three years ago.

"You're never gonna believe where I'm callin' you from, man. I'm on a mountain, on my phone!"

[passing the main characters, as they begin to suspect they're in the '80s]

I am Shiva the destroyer, your harbinger of doom this evening.

Kym

Chad: Starfish, I would just like to say that I'm honored, honored to see you taking an interest in my work and I also think you're very pretty and... (sees girls getting scuba gear on) Starfish? Where are you going? Starfish are you going swimming? Where are you going? Where are you going again Starfish? Was it the Chad?
Dylan: No the Chad was great.
Chad: The Chad was great.

Leonard: You're not taking her on the plane with you?
Phillip Vandamm: Of course I am. Like our friends, I too believe in neatness, Leonard. This matter is best disposed of from a great height, over water.

You said you 'n' me was gonna get out of town and for once just really let our hair down. Well darlin', look out 'cause my hair is comin' down!

Thelma

What did you say? Wait, what did you say?

Curt Henderson

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