Anna: Why are you dressed?
Larry: Because I think you may be about to leave me and I didn't want to be wearing a dressing gown.
You know how people are. You tell them something, they start talking.Linda
Mike Lowrey: Hey, hey, what's this having-a-picnic shit in my car?
Marcus Burnett: Look man, I ain't getting my sex at home, OK? Don't deny me this.
Mike Lowrey: What are you talking about, man? You sleep with a beautiful woman everyday.
Marcus Burnett: I'm married. That's what married means. It means you sleep together, but you can't get none.
I'm being toyed with by a bunch of depraved children.Nicholas
A new addition to the liturgy?Comte de Reynaud
Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.Crash Davis
Will Burton: So, how big is this whole bandslam thing around here?
Sam: Texas high school football big.
Brenda: Just wait until he lands on my old Kentucky home.
Bill: More beer? More beer.
Claire Standish: He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Just ignore him.
John Bender: Sweets. You couldn't ignore me if you tried. So... so. Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection?
Claire Standish: Go to HELL.
Richard Vernon: Hey. What's the hell's goin in there? Spoiled brats.
[suited up] You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look GOOD.Jay
I may not do everything great in my life, but I'm good at this. I manage to touch people's lives with what I do and I want to share this with you.Carl Casper