Zed: I might know everything. Ask me something?
Oh: Where does the sun go at night?
Zed: Pass. Next question.
Oh: Where do babies come from?
Zed: Pass. Next question.
Oh: [noticing a snake] There's a snake on my foot.
Zed: In the form of a question.
Oh: [scared] There's a snake on my foot?
Zed: Correct!

Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous. So don't be alarmed. As soon as your outer vestments are at hand, we'll begin.

Willy Wonka

Hugo Croop: I'm very sorry.
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Are you a collasal fuckin idiot?
Hugo Croop: I am idiot.
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Get the phone, it's probably Mecklin. Get Fatolli up here and start cleaning all right? and please for me will you do one thing?
[Does card trick putting a card on Hugo's forehead]
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Get out of my fucking sight.

Wacky Zacky.

Wanda Haynes

[Lin slaps Chon Wang]
Chon Wang: I just saved you!
Chon Lin: You were late!

Col. Jessep: I'd appreciate it if he would address me as "Colonel" or "Sir"... I believe I've earned it.
Judge Randolph: Counsel will refer to the witness as "Colonel" or "Sir."
Col. Jessep: I don't know what the hell kind of unit you're running here.
Judge Randolph: And you will refer to this court as "Your Honor" or "Judge"... and I'm quite certain I've earned it. Take your seat, Colonel.

Cornelius Fudge: [just after Buckbeak's escape] We must search the grounds!
Dumbledore: Search the *skies* if you must, Minister, but now I think I'll have a nice cup of tea, or a large brandy. Oh, and executioner, your services are no longer required. Thank you.
Hagrid: You'll find no small glasses in *this* house.

Come on, man, play the fuckin' thing!

Johnny Cash

[Huggy is trying to convince Hutch to forgive Starsky]
Huggy Bear: Dig this man. Someone once said: "To err is human, to forgive divine."
Hutch: Tch. What idiot said that?
Huggy Bear: I believe that was God - the greatest mack of all.

Goodbye, Hooker Lady!

Thomas

Greg: Officer McClane, you have no idea what I'm capable of!
John McClane: You sound like a very scary guy.

Judith: Have you ever had a girlfriend?
J.D.: Yes... No!
Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with a man?
J.D.: Which man?
Judith: Any man!
J.D.: You mean like a tall man?
Judith: Sure, whatever!
J.D.: 'Cause I don't like tall people, they bother me!
Judith: What about a short man?
J.D.: How short? Some times people can be too short, that's weird like midgets!
Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with any man, any man at all?
J.D.: Does that include celebrities?

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