Sergeant Horvath: Why don't you just hand 'em blindfolds, Captain?
Captain Miller: All we can do here is die.

I'm a ball player.

Monica

Look out! They got a piano!

Donkey

I spent the last 12 years of my life building rooms like this specifically to keep out people like us

Burnham

You boys can get on out of here, I don't want to have no more to do with you. Scarin' a poor, unfortunate creature like Billy just so's you could have a few laughs - I've been around that trashy behavior all my life, I'm gettin' tired of puttin' up with it. Now you can stay out of this pool hall, out of my cafe, and my picture show too - I don't want no more of your business.

Sam the Lion

Bartleby: A bird in the hand, dude. A bird in the hands.
Schrader: That doesn't make any sense.

There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every (expletive) thing he likes and doesn't ever complain.

Amy Dunne

Mary Jane Watson: [standing at Peter Parker's door] Had to do what I had to do.
Peter Parker: Mary Jane.
Mary Jane Watson: Peter. I can't survive without you.
Peter Parker: You shouldn't be here.
Mary Jane Watson: I know you think we can't be together, but can't you respect me enough to let me make my own decision? I know there'll be risks but I want to face them with you. It's wrong that we should be only half alive... half of ourselves. I love you. So here I am - standing in your doorway. I have always been standing in your doorway. Isn't it about time somebody saved your life?
Mary Jane Watson: Well, say something.
Peter Parker: Thank you, Mary Jane Watson.
Mary Jane Watson: [They kiss, which is interrupted by police sirens. Peter stands, conflicted on whether he should respond. Mary Jane, with an accepting smile, responds:] Go get 'em, tiger.

Carl Peterson: What's with this 'Roman Holiday' obssesion? Your favorite movie is 'Fletch'.
Dupree: It's in my top five, but it's not my favorite.

Gale: Why ain't you breast-feeding? You appear to be capable.
Ed McDonnough: Mind your own bid'ness.
Evelle: Ma'am, you don't breast-feed him, he'll hate you for it later. That's why we wound up in prison.
Gale: Anyway, that's what Doc Schwartz tells us.

They are the best and they specialise in the ridiculous!

Capt. Charisa Sosa

[Will and John are stuck under the rubble] I guess you're not much of a talker.

Will Jimeno

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