We decided to leave town just one damn day to late!

Valentine McKee

Rachel Rose: Oh my God! The Iraqi defense minister just committed suicide!
Rabbi Jake Schram: Ooh! Is that bad or good?

Joanne Herring: Why is Congress saying one thing and doing nothing?
Charlie Wilson: Well, tradition mostly.

Pam Byrnes: Did you tell your mother that I'm pregnant? Because she keeps touching my stomach and smiling like that.
Greg Focker: No, I didn't tell her. She guessed.
Pam Byrnes: She what?
Greg Focker: Yeah, and then she told my dad.
Pam Byrnes: Oh, my God.

James Carter: Just tell me how the Triads gonna kill us.
Lee: They will torture us for three days.
James Carter: Okay, I can handle that.
Lee: Then they will cut off our eggrolls.
James Carter: Cut off our eggrolls? Oh hell no! We gotta get out of here! Don't give up!

[Repeated line] I'm a good girl, I am!

Eliza Doolittle

In "Confessions of a Winning Poker Player," Jack King said, "Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career." It seems true to me, cause walking in here, I can hardly remember how I built my bankroll, but I can't stop thinking about the way I lost it.

Mike McDermott

Don't worry, Penny. There's still plenty of time to get pregnant and go on welfare.

Anne Marie

Sell me this pen!

Jordan Belfort

Johnny Hooker: Hey where's June?
Loretta: She quit. I'm filling in for a few days till I can get a train outta here.
Johnny Hooker: Ya? Where ya going?
Loretta: I don't know, depends on which train I get on.

Teddy: Was he scared?
Leonard Shelby: Yeah, I think it was your sinister moustache.

Hap Eckhart: We got the Halibut Calabrese, the Halibut Olympian.
Dormer: Keep going.
Hap Eckhart: Halibut Cajun style.
Dormer: I can't wait to see what they got for dessert.

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