[Tossing drug-laced dog treats into Mary's apartment]
Pat Healy: Wait... how many is this?
Norm: Umm... four.
Pat Healy: Four? That seems like an aweful lot of speed to give one little pooch. Are you sure it won't kill him?
Norm: I never said that.
Pat Healy: ... eh.

The Shoveller: Doctor, you *are* a genius.
Dr. Heller: That's what the card says.

Copperhead: So when do we do this?
The Bride: It all depends on when do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?
Copperhead: How about tonight, bitch?
The Bride: Splendid, where?

I can give more than I take.

Clark Kent

That's a thick ass door!

Charlie Wilson

Aha! Look what I have created! I have made FIRE!

Chuck Noland

Steve Penteroudakis: [while at a bar] Yeah, listen, I been fucking everywhere putting up posters, man, you know? Every project hallway, all over City Point, everywhere, you know? I mean, it's a real tragedy. She used to come in here, sit up at the bar and shit. You know, she was like our mascot.
Angie Gennaro: Helene brought Amanda in here?
Steve Penteroudakis: No, mostly in the afternoons. I mean, it's not place for a child at night.

Banky: God, I'm so embarrassed.
Hooper: You should be. They took your intellectual property and turned it into one 90-minute long gay joke. It was like watching "Batman & Robin" all over again.

Butch Cassidy: Do you believe I'm broke already?
Etta Place: Why is there never any money, Butch?
Butch Cassidy: Well, I swear, Etta, I don't know. I've been working like a dog all my life and I can't get a penny ahead.
Etta Place: Sundance says it's because you're a soft touch, and always taking expensive vacations, and buying drinks for everyone, and you're a rotten gambler.
Butch Cassidy: Well that might have something to do with it.

Are you an authorized deal maker in this establishment? Do you have the power to negotiate?

Alyssa

Waylon Jennings: [singing] I'm a long way from home/And so all alone/ Homesick like I never thought I'd be/ I'm a long way from home/Everything is wrong/Someone please watch...
Johnny Cash: June call?
Waylon Jennings: [singing] over me.
Johnny Cash: Waylon! Did June call?

[singing] Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome, im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret!

Master of Ceremonies

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