Please have a party! Feed us drinks!

Droz

Lou Bloom: I'm starting a TV news business. I film breaking stories. Maybe you saw my item this morning, a fatal car jacking.
Rick: No, I mean, I don't have a TV.
Lou Bloom: Do you have a cell phone?
Rick: Yeah
Lou Bloom: Does it have GPS?
Rick: Yeah
Lou Bloom: Congratulations, you're hired.
Rick: Okay

Commanderette Zircon: Shall I have Snotty beam you down, sir?
President Skroob: I don't know about this beaming stuff? Is it safe?
Commanderette Zircon: Oh yes, sir. Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful.

Boy at Bus Stop: [taps a sleeping Hancock] Hancock!
[hits him to wake up]
Boy at Bus Stop: Hancock!
Hancock: What, boy?
Boy at Bus Stop: [points to TV screens] Bad guys.
Hancock: What, you want a cookie? Get the hell out my face.
Boy at Bus Stop: Jackass.
Hancock: What?
Boy at Bus Stop: You heard me.

Hal Jordan: This ring said I had a great responsibility...
Thomas Kalmaku: Responsibility? You?
Hal Jordan: Let's hope so!

Adult Pi Patel: What has mamaji already told you?
Writer: He said you had a story that would make me believe in God.
Adult Pi Patel: [laughs] He would say that about a nice meal.

I even see the dog, that's how fucked up I still am. I see a man walking his German shepherd and I see our god damn poodle.

Charlie Fineman

Michelle: There um, hasn't been a whole lot of sexy time in the Levenstein household lately.
Selena: Why not?
Michelle: I don't know. I'm a mom now...
Selena: Oh please. Just because your a mom doesn't mean there isn't a whole other side to you.
Michelle: Hey! Remember that one time, at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each others...
Selena: Yes! Yes, I remember...let's keep that in the past though, okay?

You're like the thief who isn't the least bit sorry he stole, but is terribly, terribly sorry he's going to jail.

Rhett Butler

Maya: I do it at least twice a day.
Ollie: Good God!

Claire: We have learned more in the past year from genetics, than a century of digging up bones! A whole new frontier has opened up! We have our first genetically modified hybrid!
Owen: You just went and made a new dinosaur? Probably not a good idea...

I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown.

Jack Byrnes

FREE Movie Newsletter