Alice: You still fancy me?
Dan: ...Of course.
Alice: You're lying. I've been you.

Saul: How about in the park, when I said you were my friend... you didn't say anything back.
Dale Denton: Well, that's easy. It's because we're not friend. You are my drug dealer, the only reason I know you is because I like the drugs you sell. If you didn't sell drugs, I would have no idea who you are, and I wouldn't be here right now. I would be fantastic!

Brian: Hey, Jan... will you be my girlfriend?
Jan: Well, I would, but I'm gay. I'm a big dyke.
Brian: Oh. What's that like?

Well I'd like to continue to work for free, Mr. Flugleman.

Dusty Bottoms

Joe Gould: You gonna punch him or pork him?
Max Baer: That's your job, assho...
[Braddock punches Baer]

Mrs. Connelly: Mr. Rose, could you sprinkle some salt on the steps. They're terribly icy.
Alex Rose: You better not go outside then.
[walks outside and slips on the steps]

Lena: You don't even know me.
Kostos: But I'm trying to. Can't you see that?

Power wears out those who do not have it.

Calo

Frau Farbissina: Remember when we froze your semen? You said that if it didn't look like you were coming back we should try to create an heir so a part of you would live forever?
Dr. Evil: Oh sure.
Frau Farbissina: Well, after a couple of years we got a little... impatient. Dr Evil, I would like you to meet your son.
Dr. Evil: My son?
Frau Farbissina: Ja. SCOTT!
[Scott enters]
Dr. Evil: Hello Scott.
Scott Evil: Hi.
Dr. Evil: I'm your father. Dr Evil.
Scott Evil: I haven't seen you my whole life and now you just show up and *expect* a relationship? I hate you. What?
Dr. Evil: Can I have a hug?
Scott Evil: No.
Dr. Evil: Give me a hug.
Scott Evil: No way.

Cop663: Would you let a person on board with a boarding pass like this? It's dated today, but it got blurred in the rain. I don't know where it's taking me. Do you?
Faye: No idea, but I'll give you another.
Cop663: Great.
Faye: Where do you want to go?
Cop663: Wherever you want to take me.

Rusty Griswold: Wow dad, we must have jumped that rail by like 50 yards.
Clark: Nothing to be proud of Russ...
Clark: [proudly] ... 50 yards...

Good marriages are made in heaven... or some such place.

Gromeko

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