I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense, not one little bit.

Katinka [about Matilda]

[to Grace] I never had a girlfriend before. I'll never forget you.

Smurfette

I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine!

Ben Richards

I don't think I am going to say, "What the fuck" anymore.

Joel Goodson

Car Thief Cop: Freeze! You in the tights, don't move!
Spider-Man: You serious?
Car Thief Cop: Who are you?
Spider-Man: No one seems to grasp the concept of the mask.
Car Thief Cop: Freeze!
Spider-Man: [dodges] I just did 80% of your job. Huh? And that - Is that how you repay me?

Kurt's Dad: My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
J.D.: Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse.

I can't believe it. You and Dad get paid to write about plants, and you hate dirt.

Coraline Jones

I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.

Samantha

You know what they're calling you? Amin's white monkey.

Nigel Stone

Willie: Ooh, what big birds!
Indiana Jones: Those aren't big birds, sweetheart! They're giant vampire bats!

I don't have an iPod. I don't have a phone. They don't let me make calls. I'm going to call Nikki.

Pat

[while watching TV] Fucking cops. This is just unbelievable. The whole force standing outside the house, guarding the sidewalk with their arms crossed. I mean, are the kidnappers coming back?

Patrick Kenzie

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