We split up on April Fool's Day. So I decided to let the joke run for a month. Every day I buy a can of pineapple with a sell-by date of May 1. May loves pineapple, and May 1 is my birthday. If May hasn't changed her mind by the time I've bought thirty cans, then our love will also expire.

He Zhiwu, Cop 223

I can't drive, I'm a goose.

Goose Coachman

Nothing and everything, it just hits her sometimes.

Jerry

Dr. Stephen Maturin: Well, Mr. Blakeney, it would appear that you have the makings of a naturalist.
Blakeney: Well, sir, perhaps I could combine them to be a sort of... fighting naturalist, like you, sir.

Rita: Have you ever had déjà-vu?
Phil: Didn't you just ask me that?

Mr. Hand: Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?
Jeff Spicoli: Learning about Cuba, and having some food.

Turk Malloy: Hell in a hand-basket?
Linus Caldwell: No, we... can't train a cat that quickly. And...
Turk Malloy, Linus Caldwell, Basher Tarr: [together] Not enough people!

Cole Sear: She wanted me to tell you...
Lynn Sear: Cole, please stop...
Cole Sear: She wanted me to tell you she saw you dance. She said, when you were little, you and her had a fight, right before your dance recital. You thought she didn't come see you dance. She did. She hid in the back so you wouldn't see. She said you were like an angel. She said you came to the place where they buried her. Asked her a question? She said the answer is... "Every day." What did you ask?
Lynn Sear: Do... Do I make her proud?

That's a nice boy. Go get 'em, Dulli.

George

If you stare at someone long enough, you discover their humanity.

Simon Bishop

Bethany: So this is all about revenge.
Azrael: After the first couple of million years, no. My only goal was escape, but, surprise surprise, demons can't get into heaven... but angels can.

I am Fifty Shades of (expletive) up!

Christian Grey

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