Yonica Babyyeah: Do you want massage with happy ending?
Brand Hauser: Does your father know that you talk this way?

[Lincoln quoting Falstaff from Shakespeare's "King Henry the Fourth"] We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.

Abraham Lincoln

Jerry Wexler: Ruth Brown's got a tour booked in Georgia. She needs a band.
Ray Charles: I'll take it. I could write the charts for her, I could do backup, and I could also be an opening act.
Ahmet Ertegun: Okay. But you're gonna be financially responsible. You're gonna have to make it work, Ray.
Ray Charles: Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna make it do what it do, baby.

I can't believe it. You and Dad get paid to write about plants, and you hate dirt.

Coraline Jones

King Jaffe Joffer: Our son cannot consort with such a girl.
Cleo McDowell: Now wait a minute!
King Jaffe Joffer: I know you have been inconvenienced. I am prepared to compensate you. Shall we say one million American dollars?
Cleo McDowell: No way.
King Jaffe Joffer: Very well then. Two million.
Cleo McDowell: You don't have enough money to buy my daughter off.
King Jaffe Joffer: [laughing] Nonsense.
Queen Aoleon: Jaffe, apologize to Mr. McDowell.
King Jaffe Joffer: I will do no such thing. The man is beneath me and so is his daughter.
Cleo McDowell: I don't care who you are. This is America, Jack. Say another word about Lisa, and I'll break my foot off in your royal ass.

Jason Bourne: You sent me to kill Wombosi.
Conklin: Kill Wombosi? We can do that any time we want. I can send Nikki to do that, for Chrissakes. Mr. Wombosi was supposed to be dead three weeks ago. He was supposed to have died in a way where the only possible explanation was that he'd been murdered by a member of his own entourage. I don't send you to kill. I send you to be invisible. I send you because you don't exist.

[in a text to Jessica] Demi Moore is 15 years older than Ashton Kutcher. They seem happy together.

Robbie

Mya: Babe I got us lattes... be right back
Alex: I'll be right here
Mya: Oh, you were an animal last night! So babe, was thinking we could go our first real date?
Alex: Yeah, babe, we should do that...
Mya: Alex... no he didn't... he took my coffee?

I know you are, but what am I?

Pee-wee

Stephanie: I'm sick of guys who ain't got their shit together!
Tony Manero: Well, all ya need is a salad bowl, and a potato masher, and you got your shit together!

Elle: And wouldn't somebody who had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule, and if in fact you weren't washing your hair as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot, and if in fact you had heard the gunshot Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which means you would have had to found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn't that right?
Chutney Windham: She's my age! Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?
Elle: You, however, Chutney had time to hide the gun after you shot your father.
Chutney Windham: [in tears] I didn't mean to shoot him!

[shouting] Where are the black people?

Nicky

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