Harry Dunne: It's a postcard from Fraida Felcher. 'Harry, I'm pregnant. Please call me.'
Lloyd Christmas: What do you think it means, Harry?

We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and i will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a mile. Perfection. Let's go to work.

Coach Boone

Saved by the bell.

James Bond

Mr. Bond, you persist in defying my efforts to provide an amusing death for you.

Hugo Drax

Computers are a bitch!

Luther Stickell

Get a cell phone, honey, please.

Chev Chelios

Ray: D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!

Hit it Chocolate Thunder!

Wet T-Shirt Host

I'm going crazy. I'm standing here solidly on my own two hands and going crazy.

Tracy Lord

Harry Potter can kiss my ass.

Reid Garwin

[to David] To answer your question, there are two reasons why I'm looking at you like this. One because it seems in a few minutes you will officially be the only survivor of this train wreck, and two, because you didn't break one bone. You don't have a scratch on you.

ER Doctor

Now back to the typewritters by way of Washington Square.

Joe Gillis

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