"The Statue of Liberty is kaput" - that's disconcerting.

Captain Miller

Officer Ryan: You think you know who you are?
[Officer Hanson nods]
Officer Ryan: You have no idea.

For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha himself. This truth lies at the heart of the art of combat.

Hattori Hanzo

Mac: How's your shooting, Thorny?
Thorny: Good. I've been dead on all morning.
Mac: What about that little guy?
[points to bullet hole in shooting target's neck]
Thorny: Who, that little guy? I wouldn't worry about that little guy.

Taggart: What do you want me to do, sir?
Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down.
[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]
Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.
Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?

Who's the U-Boat Commander?

Service Manager

You're five foot nothin. A hundred and nothin. And you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football players in the land for two years. You're gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody but yourself. Am I making myself clear?


Peter Klaven: Are you telling me that Robbie is your best friend?
Oswald Klaven: Yes, and Hank Marducas.

Chubbs: Back in 1965, Sports Illustrated said I was going to be the next Arnold Palmer.
Happy Gilmore: Yeah? What happened?
Chubbs: They wouldn't let me play on the Pro Tour anymore.
Happy Gilmore: Ah, I'm sorry. Because you're black?
Chubbs: Hell no! Damned alligator BIT my hand off!
[Shows Happy his wooden hand]
Happy Gilmore: OH MY GOD!
Chubbs: Yeah. tournament down in Florida. I hooked my ball in the rough down by the lake. Damned alligator just POPPED up, cut me down on my prime. He got me, but I tore one of the bastard's eyes out though. Look at that.
[Shows Happy a small glass jar with an eyeball in it]
Happy Gilmore: You're pretty sick, Chubbs.

Carole: Hey Goose you big stud!
Goose: That's me, honey.
Carole: Take me to bed or lose me forever.
Goose: Show me the way home, honey.

Dr. Gonzo: Hey honkies. You guys wanna buy some heroin? Goddamnit, I'm serious. I want to sell you some pure fucking smack! This is the real stuff! I just got back from Vietnam. Ahahaha... scag! I wanna sell you some pure fucking smack... Pure... fuck...
Man in Car: Goddammit you bastards! Pull over! I'll kill you I'll kill you! Pull over, come on!

[In the wedding]
Alan Garner: How's my hair?
Stu Price: That's good.
Alan Garner: It's cool like Phil's?
Stu Price: It's classic Phil.

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