You're a reporter, eh? Well piss off!

Danny Archer

Joel Goodson: Don't steal anything. If I come back here and anything's missing, I'm going straight to the police. I mean it.
Lana: Go to school, Joel. Learn something.

Charlie Wilson: You mean to tell me that the U.S. strategy in Afghanistan is to have the Afghans keep walking into machine gun fire 'til the Russians run out of bullets?
Gust Avrakotos: That's Harold Holt's strategy, not U.S. strategy.
Charlie Wilson: What is U.S. strategy?
Gust Avrakotos: Most strictly speaking, we don't have one. But we're working on it.
Charlie Wilson: Who's 'we'?
Gust Avrakotos: Me and three other guys.

Han Solo: Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me.
Princess Leia: It's a wonder you're still alive.
[Pushes past Chewbacca]
Princess Leia: Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way?
Han Solo: No reward is worth this.

Thurgood Jenkins: Guys just shut up about the weed for two seconds, I don't want this girl to know I smoke.
Scarface: Yeah it's bad enough you a janitor yo.
Thurgood Jenkins: Custodian, dick!

Topper Harley: I'm putty in your hands.
Michelle Huddleson: In my hands, nothing turns to putty.

Come on, Big D. Fly!

Lt. Commander Thompson, USS Dallas

Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

HAL

You're a cool guy, Troy. But not for the reasons your friends think.

Gabrilla Montez

Arley: Sit down, I want to talk to you.
Trevor McKenney: You want to lie to me.

I simply love what you've done with the place. Heavy Metal meets House and Garden.

The Riddler

Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?
Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... PORKIN' his wife.

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