I know talent when I see it - TALENT! Once, I was rehearsing birds - toucans - for this musical review in Brazil...

Mikey Abromowitz

You better take care of me, Lord. If you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.

Raoul Duke

She's not a fan! This is a... this is a termite!

Jason Nesmith

You were stupid enough to get yourself into this mess! And we're the only ones crazy enough to get you out of it!

Lee Christmas

There's a mirror right there. Take a look, you're white.


It happens when I'm nervous.

Squidward Tentacles

Tracy Abernathy: I swore 37 times in the last month. I said the 'f-word' a couple of times, but it was mostly 'shit's and 'bastard's. Is 'douche bag' a curse?
Graham Hess: I suppose it would depend on its usage.
Tracy Abernathy: How about "John you're a douche bag for kissing Barbara"?
Graham Hess: It's a curse.
Tracy Abernathy: Oh, well then it's not 37 times it's 71 times.

My chin's hanging out right next to yours. I'd worry a lot less if I thought you were worrying enough.

Tom Reagan

Silas: [to Sophie] Do not move, woman.
[to Teabing]
Silas: Cripple, put the box on the table.
Sir Leigh Teabing: What, this trifle? Perhaps we can make a financial arrangement.
Silas: Put the keystone on the table.
Sir Leigh Teabing: You will not succeed. Only the worthy can unlock the stone.
[Silas turns gun on Teabing, pulls hammer back]

A new addition to the liturgy?

Comte de Reynaud

Ace Rothstein: All right, I'm gonna give you a choice. You can either have the money or you can walk out of here. You can't have both. What do you want?
Winner: I just wanna get outta here.
Ace Rothstein: Don't forget to tell your friends what happens if they fuck around in here. You understand?
Winner: I'm sorry. I made a bad mistake.
Ace Rothstein: You're fuckin' right, you made a bad mistake. 'Cause if you come back here - we catch either one of you - we're gonna break your fuckin' heads and you won't walk out of here. You see that fuckin' saw? We're gonna use it. You don't fuck around in this place. You got it?

I'm a miracle man.


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