How many of you have self-help books? Okay, that's your first problem. You can't help yourself, because your *self* sucks!

Dr. P

Deckard: Leon!
Leon: How old am I?
Deckard: [after slugging Leon, to no effect] I dunno.
Leon: My birthday is April 10, 2017. How long do I live?
Deckard: Four years.
Leon: More than you! Painful to live in fear, isn't it?

Be not that far from me, for trouble is near; haste Thee to help me.

Private Jackson

I am the soul of discretion.

Fanny

Try to be your normal, humorous self. The guy you were before the tailspin. Do you remember that guy? People love that guy.

Jack

You were never there for me were you mother? You expected Mike and Carol Brady to raise me! I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable! I am a Lost Cunningham! I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life! Oh God!

Chip Douglas

Sallah: Indy, you have no time. If you still want the ark, it is being loaded onto a truck for Cairo.
Indiana: Truck? What truck?

There is no way this winter is ever going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any way out of it. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.

Phil

All I did was I parked the car on a nice lonely road, I looked at her, and I said fuck or fight.

Timothy Fenwick, Jr.

She must suffer to her last breath.

Elle Driver

Ron: I'm warning you Hermione! Keep that bloody beast of yours away from Scabbers or I'll turn it into a tea cozy!
Hermione: It's a cat, Ronald! What do you expect? It's in his nature.
Ron: A cat? Is that what they told you? It looks more like a pig with hair if you ask me.
Hermione: That's rich! Coming from the owner of that smelly old shoe brush. Too right, Crookshanks, just ignore the mean little boy.

Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Does anybody have any ideas?
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: What about... a phone... you can smell through...

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