Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.Frank Drebin
I really, really love your neighborhood.Ronnie
Jim Stark: Nobody talks to children.
Judy: No, they just tell them.
You know how you said before, how your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity?Bender
Lt. Dixon Piper: "Now remember MacGruber. You gotta keep him on long enough to get a location."
MacGruber: "Don't worry, I've done this before. Now, listen to me you piece of... He hung up. Did you get it?"
Vicki St. Elmo: "No."
MacGruber: "Damn it! Is that thing working?!"
Look, Sully, I want you to learn this savages from the inside, I want you to gain their trust. I need to know how to force their cooperation or hammer them hard if they won't.Col. Quaritch
Kenneth Giles: [after defeating villains in a live show] Hey, Superman! Hey, Superman!
George Reeves: Well, hello there, young man, what's your name?
Kenneth Giles: [brandishing a gun] Kenneth Giles. Can I shoot you?
George Reeves: [he sees that it's a real gun and is suddenly very serious] Kenneth, why would you want to do something like that?
Kenneth Giles: So the bullet bounces off. Can I?
George Reeves: Well, if you did shoot me and the bullet bounced off, it might accidentally hit someone else. We don't want that to happen, do we?
Kenneth Giles: No...
George Reeves: Why don't you just, you and I... Here we go, partner. Why don't you just give me that? Just hand me that...
[whispering in the dark] Donna. Oh, I've missed you.Richard Fenton
Rick: You don't think I know it's hotter than hell in here? We also have abnormal vibrations in engines one and two. I had no choice but to throttle back.
Neville Flynn: You slowed down?
Rick: Yeah, well, you know, it's that or option B.
Claire Miller: Which is?
Rick: I go faster and the engines seize up and we eventually plummet to a horrible death. They spend the next year identifying femurs.
If you cannot think of anything appropriate to say you will please restrict your remarks to the weather.Mrs. Dashwood
Lawrence Wetherhold: Why would you have a baby with me?
Janet Hartigan: Because you don't know how to properly use a condom.
Lawrence Wetherhold: Point taken.
I should've never gotten on that plane. I should've never gotten out of the car.Chuck Noland