Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.

Frank Drebin

I really, really love your neighborhood.

Ronnie

Jim Stark: Nobody talks to children.
Judy: No, they just tell them.

You know how you said before, how your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity?

Bender

Lt. Dixon Piper: "Now remember MacGruber. You gotta keep him on long enough to get a location."
MacGruber: "Don't worry, I've done this before. Now, listen to me you piece of... He hung up. Did you get it?"
Vicki St. Elmo: "No."
MacGruber: "Damn it! Is that thing working?!"

Look, Sully, I want you to learn this savages from the inside, I want you to gain their trust. I need to know how to force their cooperation or hammer them hard if they won't.

Col. Quaritch

Kenneth Giles: [after defeating villains in a live show] Hey, Superman! Hey, Superman!
George Reeves: Well, hello there, young man, what's your name?
Kenneth Giles: [brandishing a gun] Kenneth Giles. Can I shoot you?
George Reeves: [he sees that it's a real gun and is suddenly very serious] Kenneth, why would you want to do something like that?
Kenneth Giles: So the bullet bounces off. Can I?
George Reeves: Well, if you did shoot me and the bullet bounced off, it might accidentally hit someone else. We don't want that to happen, do we?
Kenneth Giles: No...
George Reeves: Why don't you just, you and I... Here we go, partner. Why don't you just give me that? Just hand me that...

[whispering in the dark] Donna. Oh, I've missed you.

Richard Fenton

Rick: You don't think I know it's hotter than hell in here? We also have abnormal vibrations in engines one and two. I had no choice but to throttle back.
Neville Flynn: You slowed down?
Rick: Yeah, well, you know, it's that or option B.
Claire Miller: Which is?
Rick: I go faster and the engines seize up and we eventually plummet to a horrible death. They spend the next year identifying femurs.

If you cannot think of anything appropriate to say you will please restrict your remarks to the weather.

Mrs. Dashwood

Lawrence Wetherhold: Why would you have a baby with me?
Janet Hartigan: Because you don't know how to properly use a condom.
Lawrence Wetherhold: Point taken.

I should've never gotten on that plane. I should've never gotten out of the car.

Chuck Noland

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