I've been in love with you since I was eleven, and the shit won't go away.

Monica

Kate Veatch: For instance, do you realize you haven't collected any membership fees in 13 months?
Peter La Fleur: Hmmm...
Kate Veatch: I'm curious, is it strictly apathy, or do you really not have a goal in life?
Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.
Kate Veatch: Well I guess that makes sense, in a really sad way.
Peter La Fleur: Sad? You want to know what's sad? Six grown men playing dodgeball.

[as Mr. Chow closes his car window slowly, his head trails the closing gap] Toodooloo mother fuckers!

Mr. Chow

Craig Jones: Mom, loan me 200 dollars.
Mrs. Jones: Craig, I wouldn't feel comfortable lending you money without a job.
Craig Jones: If I had a job, I wouldn't need to borrow any money.
Mrs. Jones: Exactly.

Buzz Lightyear: Good work, men. Two blocks down and only nineteen more to go.
Mr. Potato Head: What?
Rex, Hamm, Slinky Dog: Nineteen?
Mr. Potato Head: Are we gonna do this all night? My parts are killing me.
Buzz Lightyear: Come on, fellas. Did Woody give up when Sid had me strapped to a rocket?
Rex, Hamm, Mr. Potato Head, Slinky Dog: No.
Buzz Lightyear: No. And did he give up when you threw him out of the back of that moving van?
Mr. Potato Head: Oh, you had to bring *that* up!
Buzz Lightyear: No, he didn't! We have a friend in need, and we're not going to rest until he's safe in Andy's room! Now, let's move out!

I can't figure out what's worse, having to know every single detail of your desperate love for some other woman, or having to know that you obviously didn't even come close to feeling the same way about me.

Emma Dinsmore

I'm a big pile of love today.

Harry Goldenblatt

Ladies, until you understand the mindset of a man, you are never gonna win in the game of love.

Steve Harvey

You wanna bring a priest to your first good date in two years? What kind of strategy is that?

Father Brian Finn

Zoot: Welcome, brave sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax.
Sir Galahad: The Castle Anthrax?
Zoot: Yes... it's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice, and we'll attend to your every need.

The first day of spring semester. A time to say goodbye to the parents once again, and say hello to a few new student bodies.

Van Wilder

I'm gonna get you out of here. These doctors around here don't know squat. Otherwise, why would they be living out here in the desert? As soon as you're able to be moved, we'll find someplace where they've actually studied medicine.

Frankie Dunn

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