[to Rhonda] GET OUT OF YOUR PANTS!

Valentine McKee

Store Clerk: Hey, freeze bitch!
Mike Lowrey: [as he points the gun her way, in a flash Mike and Marcus stop arguing and point their guns at his head] YOU freeze, bitch!
Store Clerk: Oh shit, I'm fucked.
Mike Lowrey: Now back up, put the gun down, and get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious.
Marcus Burnett: And some Skittles.

Goldstein: Sorry, kids. We ain't goin' nowhere. We're watching 'The Gift'. Supposedly Katie Holmes shows her titties in this movie.
Harold: Is that all you Jews ever think about? Tits?
Rosenberg: Katie Holmes is a nice, respectable, wholesome girl... and I'm gonna see her boobs.
Goldstein: The things I would eat out of her ass! You have no idea!
Rosenberg: Ugh! That is a completely vulgar statement.
Goldstein: So is, "I wanna bang Britney Spears on the bathroom floor," but it's true.
Rosenberg: Touche.

Josh: You want to practice parking?
Cher: What's the point? Everywhere you go has valet.

Lucy Pevensie: I wonder who lived here.
Susan Pevensie: I think we did.

How 'bout that Johnny Cash huh?

Elvis Presley

Mater: "You know, I know some karate. I don't wanna brag or nothin', but I got me a black fan belt. Hey you wanna see some moves I made up?
Finn McMissile: "We're being followed."
Mater (Oblivious to the danger): "This first one I can reach into a car's hood, pull out his battery and show it to him before he stumbles. I call it: What I Accidentally Did to My Friend Luigi Once. Hiyyyyyya!"
Bad Cars: "There he is!"
Mater: "Wow look, I probably oughta go - I'm gonna miss my flight."
Finn McMissile: Don't worry, I've taken care of that...hang on!

I've never beamed three people from two targets onto one pad before!

Scotty

[waking up next to a crashed car and a group of dead bodies] How did I get here? What have I done?

Marv

Mother-in-Law: In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
Bobby Davis: In your day, men were busy building pyramids!

No intensity, no victory.

Christina Pagniacci

Crude noisemaker.

General Zod

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