Gene: Now, we need to make 8 gallons of bug juice by snack hour; do you know where the powder packets are?
Gary: Yeah.
Gene: In the pantry, above the sink, right next to my bottle of dick cream... Uh, wait, forget that last part.
Gary: Did you say dick cream?
Gene: No! I said next to my... stick... team, you know, stick team! Stickball! Go away, leave me alone!

Troy Bolton: Dad, did you ever wanna try something new, but were afraid of what your friends might think?
Jack Bolton: What, you mean like going left? You're doing great!

Thurgood Jenkins: Smoke-Alot opened up to me like I was Barbara Walters. It was ridiculous, he told me about his lawyer...
Sir-Smoke-Alot: He had sex with my momma! Why?
Thurgood Jenkins: Spirituality...
Sir-Smoke-Alot: God, if you listenin', help!...
Thurgood Jenkins: His bad back...
Sir-Smoke-Alot: The doctor said I need a backiotomy.
Thurgood Jenkins: His love life...
Sir-Smoke-Alot: I'm impotent, man! Get away from me, biatch!
[pushes girl aside]
Thurgood Jenkins: I mean, talk about a guy with problems.

That's a lot of money to be counting out in public.

Billy Sherbert

Grace: When are you coming home?
Anthony: I can't come home, Grace, I'm an adult.

Let's go get our boy back!

Admiral Reigart

Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.
Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
[Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him]

Judah Ben-Hur: [dipping a hand in a stream] When the Romans were marching me to the galleys, thirst had almost killed me. A man gave me water to drink, and I went on living. I should have done better if I'd poured it into the sand!
Balthasar: No.
Judah Ben-Hur: I'm thirsty still.

Ritchie: Will you stop it? You're being the mayor of Pussytown!
Jack Wyatt: I don't want to be the mayor of Pussytown!
Ritchie: I want you to get out there and be the sheriff of Ballsville!

Opal: Good Lord love a duck!
Bud Hamilton: This is a choir... a black choir... from, uh, part of... from Fisk University here in town.
Opal: Good Lord! The lady singing is... is she a missionary?
Bud Hamilton: No, she's not. She's a gospel singer. She's the wife of our attorney.
Opal: I was making a documentary in Kenya... and there was this marvelous woman who was a missionary. That's why I asked if she was a missionary. She was sensational. She was converting Kukuyos by the dozens. She was trying to convert Masais. Of course, they were hopeless. They have their own sort of religion. Look at that. That rhythm is fantastic. It's funny... You can tell it's come down in the genes... through ages and ages and hundreds of years, but it's there. I mean, take off those robes and one is in... in... in darkest Africa. I can just see their naked, frenzied bodies... dancing to the beat of... Do they carry on like that in church?
Bud Hamilton: Depends on which church you go to.

Kit: Yeah, everyone from work went to T.G.I. Fridays, but I don't really like that place. Or anyone that I work with.
Paula: Oh good, so then we can stay in and watch one of those drinking movies you like.
Kit: [sarcastically] Yeah!

Barbara Jean: [she finishes singing a song at her concert] Thank you. I wanna tell you all a little secret which you might not know, and that is that last night I thanked my lucky stars that I could be here at all to sing for ya. I heard on the radio this little boy, nine years old. Sometimes a deejay'll play a tune and ask everybody to phone in and say how they like it. I was listenin', and this little nine-year-old called in. The song had voices in the background, like the way they use backup voices these days, soundin' like little munchkins. He called up, the deejay said, "How old are you, son?" The boy said, "I'm nine, and I think it's gonna be a hit. " The deejay said, "Why?" "Because it had those chipmunks in it. " And I thought that was so cute, because, well, I can sing like a munchkin myself. I'm real fond of The Wizard of Oz. Plus, I live out, you know, just a ways off of Interstate on the road to Chattanooga. So you can see why I kinda related to that. I think me and the boys are gonna strike up another tune for you now. Let's go, boys. I think there's a storm... seems like it's a-brewin'. That's what my grandaddy used to say before he lost his hearin'. Once he got deaf, he never talked much no more. 'Cept sometimes he'd say "Oh, gosh" or "Durn it" or "My word!" My granny'd go around clickin' her teeth to the radio all day. Boy, was she a lot of fun, and cooked my favorite, roast beef. She was a sweetheart. She raised chickens too. She, um... Did you ever hear a chicken sound? You know how chickens go? Here, chick, chick, chick. Here, chick, chick, chick. Anyway, I guess we'd better strike up this tune before it's too late. Okay, boys. The first job I ever really got... Grandma... She's the one who clacked her false teeth to the radio. She taught my mama how to sing, and my mama taught me. One time she took me, 'cause we was gonna get a new Frigidaire. She took me to the Frigidaire store where the man was advertisin'. This record was goin' 'round, and Mama told him I knew how to sing. He said, "If she learns this tune, I'll give y'all a quarter. " So Mama and I went home... And then what happened? Let's see, I think... Uh, yeah. We went home and I learned both sides of the record in half an hour. We went back and told him that I'd learned 'em, and he said, "Let me hear," so I sang both sides of the record instead of just one. So he gave us cents, and we went across the street and had us a soda. Ever since then I been workin'. I don't... I think ever since then I been workin' and doin' my... - Come on, come on. - Supportin'myself. Anyway...
Barnett: [comes up on stage and starts to pull her from the microphone] Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
Barbara Jean: Am I all right? Am I all right?
Barnett: Oh, you're fine, darlin'.
[he guides her offstage]

FREE Movie Newsletter