Jonah Baldwin: If you get a new wife, I guess you'll get to have sex with her, huh?
Sam Baldwin: I certainly hope so.
Jonah Baldwin: Will she scratch up your back?
Sam Baldwin: [shocked] What?
Jonah Baldwin: In the movies, women are always scratching up the men's back and screaming and stuff when they're having sex.
Sam Baldwin: How do you know all this?
Jonah Baldwin: Jed's got cable.
Sam Baldwin: Oh.

Lady, I will break my foot off in your ass!


Caleb Prior: You're nervous, aren't you?
Beatrice 'Tris' Prior: Why would I be nervous? We just decide the rest of our lives.

I want my dog back!


John McClane: They told me to stay on the line.
Simon: Ha! God I love this country!
John McClane: You know, your brother was an asshole.
Simon: Yeah, he was an asshole. You got his number.

Michelangelo: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill! It's just a mask, see? Don't freak out.
Michelangelo: Right?

  • Permalink: Right?
  • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Mainheimer: You're thinking about him again, aren't you? What was his name? Frank?
Jane Spencer: Yes.
Dr. Mainheimer: You just can't forget him, can you?
Jane Spencer: Who?
Dr. Mainheimer: Frank!

Bernie Focker: At least I'm comfortable enough in my skin to cook for my family. Tell me when was the last time you gave your wife breakfast in bed? When was the last time you gave her anything in bed?
Jack Byrnes: Now you're outta line Focker.
Bernie Focker: No man you are outta line. You hurt my feelings there. There's no reason to hurt my feelings.
[looks at Greg and points to Jack]
Bernie Focker: He insulted me.

[after the Simpsons' house collapses into the sink hole] They're China's problem now.

Chief Wiggum

Jake Sully: You guys are packing some heavy gear.
Trudy Chacon: That's because we're not the only thing flying around out there, or the biggest. But I need you on a door gun, I'm a man short.
Jake Sully: I thought you'd never ask.

Sometimes, all you have in life are fucked-up, poisonous choices.

Rosalyn Rosenfeld

It's amazing what you can do with Photoshop these days.


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