Mephistopheles: Perhaps you'll ride for me some day.
Young Johnny Blaze: You run a show?
Mephistopheles: Greatest show on Earth

[as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We're here to fuck shit up!

Dale Doback

Michael Newman: [trying to convince him to let the project be procrastinated so he can go camping] Three days? Couldn't I have a little more time for this project?
Ammer: Michael, our clients are Japanese. They can't wait for their fish to cook.

You might think it upset me that Paul Metzler had decided to run against me but nothing could be further from the truth. He was no competition for me; it was like apples and oranges. I had to work a little harder, that's all, see I believe in the voters; they understand that elections aren't just popularity contests, they know this country was built by people just like me who work very hard and don't have everything handed to them on a silver spoon. Not like some rich kids who everybody likes because their fathers owns Metzlers cement and give them trucks on their 16th birthday and throw them big parties all the time. No, they don't ever have to work for anything. They think they can just all of a sudden one day out of the blue waltz right in with no qualifications what's so ever and try to take away what other people have worked very, very hard for their entire lives. No, it didn't bother me at all.

Tracy Flick

Off to find the mythical clitoris!


Snake Village Owner: We need another python. See what you can do. We have enough Cobras, okay?
John J. Rambo: Fuck off, okay?

Jack: We decided that, we want you to be on camera.
Alison Scott: Oh my god, really?
Jill: I know, I was so surprised too.

There are forces at work beyond our understanding.

Elliot Moore

This tastes significantly better than sardines.

Joe Towne

Detective Murphy: Look at these ugly bastards.
Fat Thug: I don't feel good.
Detective Murphy: You're a cop killer. You're lucky to be feeling anything below the neck.

Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.


Down here, if you ask five people about a demon story, they'll give you ten demon stories.

Cotton Marcus

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