Edward Lewis: You can't charge me for directions!
Vivian: I can do anything I want to baby, I ain't lost.

Alotta Fagina: In Japan, men come first and women come second.
Austin Powers: Or sometimes not at all.

Looks like someone's auditioning for "Soul Train."


Charles: Time.
Matthew: Honestly?
Charles: Yes! Time!
Matthew: It's about ten to nine.
Charles: Bastards.

Memphis: Shut it off!
Raymond Calitri: You got 30 seconds to consider your options. One, you kill me, they kill you, your brother dies anyway.
Memphis: Shut it off!
Raymond Calitri: Two, you lie, you accept the job, you run, I hunt you down, I kill you, I kill your brother, and I kill your mother for the aggravation you cause me. Three, you accept the job, you steal some cars, you make some money, and you be a big brother.

Lou, Lou; a minute of your time. See, it says right there; no calisthentics. What do you think of that?

Roger Dorn

Shaun! I read your story. You used a lot of big words. Great! Good for you! It was a little long, so I didn't read the whole thing, but who cares 'cause I gave you an A!

Mr. Burke

Harold: Neil, you wouldn't happen to know how to get on the highway from here, would you?
Neil Patrick Harris: Dude, I don't even know where the fuck I am right now. I was at this party earlier tonight and some guy hooked me up with this incredible "X" - next thing I know I'm being thrown out of a moving car. I've been trippin' balls ever since.
Kumar: That's crazy, dude. We've been having a pretty crazy, night, too. We've just been driving around looking for White Castle but we keep getting sidetracked.
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, dude, you fascinate me. Forget White Castle, let's go get some pussy!
Harold: Huh?
Neil Patrick Harris: It's a fucking sausage fest in here, bros. Let's get some poontang, THEN we'll go to White Castle.
Kumar: No, Neil, you don't understand. We've been craving these burgers all night.
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too. Furburgers. Come on, dudes, let's pick up some trim at a strip club. The Doogie line always works on strippers.
Neil Patrick Harris: Lapdance...
Kumar: [pause] There's a gas station. I'm gonaa see if I can get some directions.
Neil Patrick Harris: You don't need dir- gah! Hurry up, dudes, hurry up! I'm losing wood.
[they park, pause]
Neil Patrick Harris: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry...
Kumar: Look, chill.
Harold: We'll be right back, Neil.
[they exit the car]
Harold: Dude, what is the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny?

I thought I could rely on your honor!

The Judge

You're some sort of big, fat, smart-bug, aren't you?

Johnny Rico

Lionel Logue: Do you know any jokes?
King George VI: ...Timing isn't my strong suit.

Young, young man. Did anyone ever tell you you look like a young prince out of the 'Arabian Nights'?

Blanche DuBois

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