Charles 'Chip' Shreck: Dad, you buy that "blurry" business?
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Women. Nothing surprises me, Chip, except your late mother. Who'd have thought Selina had a brain to damage. Bottom line, she tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out a higher window. Meantime, I got better fish to fry.

Kate Grant: Why do you want meatloaf if it isn't even on the dinner menu?
Woody Grant: 'cause I like it.
Waitress: What can I get you?
Woody Grant: Do you have any meatloaf?
Waitress: No, that's only part of our lunch specials.
Kate Grant: He'll have the chicken.
Waitress: Fried or grilled?
Woody Grant: ...fried.
Kate Grant: He'll have it grilled. I think I'd like the roast beef, but I'm not entirely sure. What do you recommend?
Waitress: Everything's all good ma'am, but I especially like the tilapia.
Kate Grant: Oh, then I'll have the roast beef.
David Grant: ...I'll have the tilapia.

Hiro Hamada: Come on!
Baymax: I am not fast.
Hiro Hamada: Yeah, no kidding

[to Arroway in the tone of Hannibal Lecter] Clever girl.

S.R. Hadden

Sam Loomis: You mean the old woman I saw tonight wasn't Mrs. Bates?
Deputy Sheriff Al Chambers: Now wait a minute, Sam, are you sure you saw an old woman?
Sam Loomis: Yes! In the house behind the motel! I called and I pounded but she just ignored me!

[haggling with Tom]
Nick the Greek: What else does it come with?
Tom: It comes with a gold-plated Rolls Royce, as long as you pay for it.

Ed Exley: Bud hates himself for what he did.
Lynn Bracken: I know how he feels.

You were right about one thing you are a CPA, a certified public asshole!

Leo Bloom

110. Get a job, punk.

Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris

All my life, I've been fighting my way upstream.

The Duchess of Devonshire

In my day, we did it all with a snorkel and flippers.

John Mason

Captain's not called Lucky-Jack for no reason.

Joseph Nagle, Carpenter's Mate

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